Lately, I have been noticing a common theme that is really holding women business owners back from their experiencing their gifts.
When you have an unhealed past trauma, the your gift(s) can turn into a curse. There is one gift in particular that I want to talk about. It’s the gift of being highly sensitive or empathic.
This gift has so many wonderful benefits like being very intuitive…being able to easily read people, sensing when there is a problem or danger, helping others in healing, being a great listener, and on and on!
BUT, there are also serious consequences when you have not healed from a past trauma…this gift will turn into a curse. You can feel like certain people suck the life out of you, like your business sucks the life out of you, get easily overwhelmed or anxious, or like your emotions overpower you. You end up spending your life trying to make everyone else happy by doing things you really don’t want to do. You may even avoid networking events because the energy from the people in the room is overwhelming.
You feel things on such a deep level. You may not even know how to handle it or what to do with it.
So what happens is that you shut it down. You don’t want to feel. It’s gotten too overwhelming. So the gift turns into a curse, and then you may try everything possible to numb it…medication, food, alcohol, shopping. But, it’s only temporary. Then, because you are shutting down your ability to feel you disconnect with what you really want. This leads to confusion and indecision, maybe for MONTHS about what YOU to do and you get totally stuck in your business. It’s a vicious cycle.
The only way out is to heal from that past trauma and to learn exactly how to use this gift so that it supports and empowers you instead of over-powering you.
Here are some tips that are ESSENTIAL to turn being highly-sensitive or empathic back into a gift…
1. Healthy BOUNDARIES
This is SOOOOOOOO important. This is the foundation that is necessary so that you can experience all this gift has to offer you!
When you do NOT have healthy boundaries here’s how it can show up in your business…
Clients no-show on you more than once and you have a cancellation policy in place, but you do NOT enforce it.
You end up thinking about your clients way outside of working with them…in the car, washing the dishes, etc. You tell yourself it’s
“normal” it’s because you care…but this is a boundary issue. I’m not talking about the occasional check in…I’m talking about being so attached to the results of working with you that you are taking over-responsibility for them.
You leave a client meeting or session and end up feeling like crap the rest of the day. You’ve taken on their “baggage” and don’t know how to shake it.
You take on clients you don’t really want to work with because you feel like you “have to” or it’s the “right” thing to do.
Having health boundaries mean that you are NOT responsible for anyone else! You don’t need to make anyone happy, you don’t need to “fix” anyone. You are responsible for YOU…and you make decisions from that place, for YOUR best interest.
When you say YES, mean it. When you say NO, mean it. Honor and respect what YOU want.
2. Speak Your Truth
Highly sensitive or empathic women can have such a hard time with this when there are unresolved past traumas.
You have conditioning like…you have to be the “good girl”….you don’t want to “rock the boat”…you have to make others happy and
“do the right thing”…whatever that means!
Well, I say SCREW it! Where has that gotten you???? You are bending over backwards doing things you do NOT want to do. You may have even lost sight of what YOU want. You are so worried about someone being pissed off or angry at you because guess what….YOU feel their anger on a very deep level you take it on and don’t know what to do with it!
The more you speak your truth, the more you will be able to use your gift to create the business and life YOU want!
3. Let go of past conditioning
Most likely you grew up in a household where it was NOT ok or common to share your emotions or talk about your feelings.
Maybe you were even picked on for being “too sensitive” or got in trouble for expressing your emotions.
You learned that emotions and feelings are “bad”. They are to be shoved down and not talked about. The message you got was
there is “something wrong with you” if you feel them or want to express them.
Well, I am here to help you see the truth. There is NOTHING wrong with you. This is your gift, if you chose to heal from your past.
The more you change your relationship and past conditioning with your emotions, the more empowered you will be to learn how to use them to support you.
The more you step into your power and own this gift, the more you will be able to create a business and life you LOVE!
I want you to think about how different you would feel if it felt safe to feel your emotions and express yourself.
What would change in your business and life?
With Courage,
Colleen
