Myth #1 It’s only a trauma if something “big” happens. Ex. losing a loved one, physical/emotional/sexual abuse, divorce.
Truth: Yes, those are all examples of trauma AND trauma can also show up in very subtle ways that can build up over time.
Let me give you an example because I talk to some women that say I had a “good” childhood, nothing “bad” happened.
Here’s the deal, I believe one of the biggest ways that we subtly experience trauma is in having experiences where people we love knowingly and unknowingly condition us to be someone other than who we really are to be loved and accepted.
“I will only love you if you do what I want you to do.” This may not be specifically stated, but it’s implied and modeled. In fact, love may be withdrawn if you went against this as a child.
When you shine too bright and be your true self, you may have experienced harsh criticism and judgment from loved ones. Then you dimmed your light so you wouldn’t be too much.
Also, you may have been conditioned and modeled to meet everyone else’s needs first. Your needs don’t matter. You have to make others happy if you want to fit in.
What these experiences all do is condition you to betray yourself. You don’t know what’s best for you, others do.
You can’t trust yourself.
Then you wake up one day and have “everything” that you are supposed to have to make you happy and you are miserable, depressed, and depleted because it’s not what is authentic to YOU. You have no clue who you really are.
It’s someone else’s dream. Or just a bunch of shoulds that are supposed to make you a “good” person.
THIS IS TRAUMA TOO!
This has a DEEP impact on how you feel about yourself. What choices you make. How you live your life.
This can show up as low self esteem and confidence, not taking risks, depression, anxiety, and feeling hopeless.
Massive changes are happening right now, and it’s going to get way more painful to be inauthentic and follow what other’s want for you.
The path to FREEDOM starts with an awareness that you experienced trauma. It may have been from well intentioned loved ones that didn’t know any better, but it’s still trauma.
There is no better time to start healing. There’s no better time to start to come home to who you really are. To start to put yourself as a top priority. What do YOU like? What do YOU want?
If you’d like some support on your journey, please reach out and let’s chat to see if it’s a good fit.
It’s NOT an easy road…I’m not going to lie. Choosing yourself and healing can be VERY messy. It can be very confronting to those around you who are used to you betraying yourself to meet their needs. You WILL disappoint others.
AND
It’s ALL worth it!!!!!! When you create a deep love and acceptance from WITHIN you are truly FREE. You don’t need to bend over backwards for others. The deep respect you have for yourself will give you permission to stop putting up with other people’s BS. Lots of love!
