Summer meadow with butterfly at sunset.

Let’s face it, there are going to be challenging times in life, that’s a guarantee.  

Whether that is losing a loved one…going through a divorce…you or a loved one going through a health crisis …losing job…having your heartbroken…or maybe even having an empty nest.  

How you respond to this challenge and how you use it, will determine how much pain, suffering, peace, or freedom you experience.

Our society promotes and our survival/coping mechanisms will automatically go into shutting down, numbing, distracting, avoiding, or running away from the pain the challenge brings.

None of those will ever bring you peace or freedom within.

You will never find peace or freedom from anything external changing.  The crisis being “over” will never bring you peace.  You will secretly be in fear of the next thing that could go wrong.

There is something very important, in fact life changing, that I have learned from my own times of significant crisis and challenge…

When you use the challenge and everything it is triggering within YOU to shed the layers of the false you…the you that puts everyone else first to be loved…the you that people pleases…the you that self-punishes and severely criticizes yourself and others…the you that needs to achieve something to feel good about yourself…the you that constantly looks for love from others because you don’t fully love yourself…you will find the REAL YOU.

When you use this time filled with pain, fear, uncertainty, and doubt to go deep within yourself to find out WHO you really are and what you really want in your life, only then will you find PEACE and FREEDOM.

It’s NOT when your anxiety, fear, worry, and doubt leave that you will find peace and freedom.  It’s finding the REAL YOU that will melt away your anxiety, fear, worry, and doubt.  

The Real You doesn’t worry about what others think.  The Real You loves you unconditionally.  The Real You knows your true desires.  The Real You has trust in yourself and the Universe.  The Real You knows the exact next step you need to take.  

Think about the analogy of the eye of the storm.  The eye, the place of peace and calm, is the REAL YOU.  It’s at peace in the midst of total chaos happening around it.  That’s what happens when you are connected with your true self.  It will not matter what is happening around you, you will be at peace.  

At times when life is the most challenging, if you use it to question everything you believe to be true, and find the real you, you will transform your challenge into a blessing.

If I hadn’t had one of the biggest challenges of my life 7 yrs ago in recovering memories from childhood sexual abuse, I would have NO CLUE who I really am.  I would not be connected with the real me that is creative, inspiring, honest, beautiful, and vulnerable.  I would not have friendships that are real, raw, honest, open and vulnerable, where I get to show up as the real me.  I would not have a relationship with my children that is real, honest, and open where I can cry or laugh in front of them.  I would not have a marriage that is open, honest, and loving.  I would not be working on being loving and compassionate with myself.  I wouldn’t have overcame of fear of public speaking and being seen and be sharing this message with you right now!

That challenge has been one of my greatest opportunities for personal and spiritual growth of my life.  

If you are going through a challenge right now, I want you to ask yourself how can you use this to connect with your TRUE self?  How can you peel away the layers of who you are NOT, to find the peace and freedom of knowing who you are?  What new choices would you make in your life from this place?

With Courage,