To do list in a car - busy day concept

When you are going through a challenging time, whether you have lost a loved one, are going through a breakup or divorce, going through a health challenge or a loved one is sick, have lost a job, or you are now an empty nester…there is advice that is most commonly given that is the WORST advice you can follow.

Now, let me just say that the person giving this advice is a very well intentioned person.  They are really trying to help and are really just sharing the advice they were given during a challenging time.  But, I want to set the record straight!

So, here it goes…

The worst advice you can follow during a challenging time in life is “keeping busy”.

Why you ask?

Well, whatever challenge you are facing is going to create emotions in your body.  Keeping busy will block you from feeling those emotions, which people tend to believe is a good thing.  But, it’s NOT.  The emotions that want to flow through you, whether it’s anger, rage, sadness, disappointment, etc. will only get stuffed down by being busy. It does NOT make them go away.  They get stored in the body and will then live in the body until they are allowed to be released.  If they are stuffed long enough, they could lead to manifesting health challenges down the road.

Why is this so hard and why do we want to default to keeping busy?

We are constantly given messages in our society and growing up that it is NOT ok to feel or express your true feelings.  You get messages to hide, stuff, run from, and avoid your feelings.  Doing any of those will screw you over in the long run because resisting your feelings takes A LOT of energy and makes those feelings grow bigger.  This is why you end up feeling exhausted and drained so often.  You are literally fighting against what is natural for your body to do, feel and release emotions.  If you would only stop and allow space to feel your emotions and allow them to flow through you, you would be free from them.

You are also constantly bombarded with messages that being busy is a badge of honor…the busier the better!  It’s become a competition, who is the busiest.  It’s just insanity.  Have you have bought into this way of being that can suck the life out of you?

Also, feeling your feelings can be very uncomfortable, especially if you are not used to allowing yourself to feel.  However, this is the ONLY way to free yourself.  In working with private clients, this is where I see the most opportunity for growth, is to make space to allow yourself to feel.  It can be very scary because the biggest fear I’ve heard from my clients is the fear that once I feel I will get swallowed up or consumed by the feelings.  It’s just not true.  In fact, resisting your feelings and fighting against them, ironically, is what can swallow you up and consumes you.

Another important piece of this is that when you avoid the “bad” feelings or the feelings you are afraid of, you are also shutting out joy, happiness, gratitude, and love.

The depth that you allow yourself to go into the dark emotions is also the height that you will experience the light emotions.

My invitation to you is to take 5-10 minutes today to check in with how you are feeling without the need to fix it or change it….just FEEL.

With Courage,